It is early in the morning, or late at night depending on
how you look at it. I probably shouldn’t be posting right now, but I’ve shared
everything else about my disorder, so here’s a post written and posted while I’m
hypomanic.
I don’t want to go to sleep. My mind is racing – I have so
many ideas right now. One, which I thought was brilliant, was to build a marble
race to take a marble down two flights of stairs along the wall. It includes an
elevator, rails painstakingly made from wire, and chutes and drops made from
cardboard. (Please note the painstakingly made rails in the photo).
It is really, really hard to get everything to work. It’s
like debugging software – you fix one thing, and another goes wrong. (Sort of
like the psychiatrists working on my brain).
I hope the kids will think it’s a fun toy in the morning,
and not something crazy. I’m sure there will be a joke about me losing my
marbles at breakfast.
If I was talking to you right now, I would be talking very
fast. I would be jumping from one idea to the SQUIRREL! (If you got that
reference, then you have good taste in animated film).
I feel like I’ve learned a lot tonight – mostly about
building marble races. It might come in handy one day, like if our youngest
joins Boy Scouts and they have a badge for it.
I’m thinking that I need to put padding on the wall where
our cat jumps and bangs his head.
I’m thinking that I could build a bridge from our patio to
the pine tree, and make a platform.
I’m thinking about what will happen to the internet, and my
phone, when a really, really big solar storm hits. I am also thinking about
what steps could be taken to protect our electronics. Should I dig a big hole
and bury my computer? What will people do without phones?
I’m thinking why doesn’t the government have emergency cell
phone towers on helium balloons, so in case of earthquake we would have phone
service?
I’m thinking why don’t we do that anyways? Why have towers
on tops of buildings when you could get more range from balloons?
See what I mean? Racing thoughts, oversharing, acting
grandiose, planning irrational and huge projects are all symptoms of hypomania.
Right now I am totally overconfident.
Being like this feels good, and that’s bad, because it’s
hard on my body.
Hitting the cat with the marble made me stop, and come to my
senses somewhat.
I will try to get some sleep if I can leave that damn marble
race alone. It’s so close to working!
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