Didn't You Get the Memo?

A lot of what you learn as a psych patient to manage your illness can be applied to everyone. We all go through periods of sadness, worry, anxiety, anger, despair, agitation – yet most of us are not taught techniques to navigate through these tough times.

Because psychiatric patients have to deal with super-sized versions of tough times, they are given exercises and tools to help cope. But these tools are useful for everyone, and if they were made more widely available would lead to less stress and more happiness.

Why shouldn’t mindfulness, meditation, dialectic behaviour therapy, and cognitive behaviour therapy be included in the physical education curriculum in high school? The teenage years are when most mental illnesses begin to manifest themselves. Why not give teens some tools to stay mentally healthy and happy? It wouldn’t even take much time – say eight to twelve hours over two or three years. A small investment with a big payoff.

Why should this be in physical education? Anima Sana In Corpore Sano (“A sound mind in a sound body”). Okay, it’s Latin, and I stole that from the shoe company Asics (it’s the brand of jogging shoe I wear). But it’s a great slogan, isn’t it? You can’t have a healthy body without a healthy mind.

Here are two techniques I learned today that I think could help anyone.

Write a note to yourself when you are happy. Say something about how happy you are, how sadness will pass, and how you can feel happy again. When you feel really bad, pull it out – it’s a memo from your past to the present, and it will help you feel a little better.

Make a list of all of the things that are true about yourself, even if you don’t believe them. This includes things others have said to you. Things like “I am smart,” or “People like me.” When your self-esteem hits bottom, pull that list out and read it out loud to yourself.

I cannot thank enough everyone who has taught me this year. I have a long way to go. Not every technique I learn is useful for me, but will be useful for someone else.

One very important thing I have gained is an understanding of the need for routine in my life. I am looking at the clock – it is bedtime.

Thanks for reading. See you in the morning. J

What Depression Feels Like

A lot of people have been messaging me on Facebook with thanks (makes me feel really good!) and questions. A lot of the questions have been around understanding depression.

Here is what depression is like for me. In the early stages, people don't notice it at all. But in my mind there is a feeling of despair. However, I don't talk about it because I don't want to trouble anyone. I am hoping it just goes away.

As the depression grows, I try extra hard not to be a burden. I withdraw from social activities, stop talking with friends, and pretend that everything is alright.

Soon I have to start calling in sick to work, because my brain has stopped functioning at a high enough level to cope with anything. I start to cry for no reason. I don't want to get out of bed.

Finally, I get intrusive thoughts of killing myself. Everything feels hopeless. Doing the simplest task feels impossible. Life is pain. I still don't want to be a burden, but don't know how to end the pain. I contemplate suicide.

The end stage is like a dream. I cry uncontrollably, and the psychic pain is overwhelming. It doesn't matter what anyone says to me, or what reality is - I want to hurt myself. Often, after recovering from an episode like this, I will have little memory of it.

When I am this depressed, I will lie about how I am feeling. I cannot be trusted to see a doctor or to get myself any help. I will overshare personal details (the last time was with my boss - thank God she is a wonderful person whom I can trust!).

Now, I use techniques like CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) to try and stop the downward spiral. It's hard though - a lot of work. I also have a network of friends who have a list of my symptoms, and will make me get help before things get too bad.

For people I know who repress their feelings of depression, I notice that it often manifests itself as physical pain, irritability or even anger.

In Vancouver, Surrey and several other cities across Canada, you can access a psychiatrist within weeks at a Mood Disorders Association clinic, with a referral from your doctor. Any doctor in Vancouver can also refer you to a CBT class at your local hospital.

Mental note: Learn mindfullness and practice meditation - both help stop depression.