Monday, August 27, 2012

The "I Spy" Game

When I was first taken from the holding area to my bed on the ward, I was really disoriented. It was hard to listen to all of the instructions. I remember somebody telling me rules, somebody showing me where the washroom was, getting told when meals were, being told how to behave, do laundry, do everything. So when I got a turn to speak, I jumped on it.

Dave, my nurse for the day, showed me my bed. It was in half of a room, separated by a curtain. He quietly said, "D'Arcy, do you see anything in here that you could use to hurt yourself?"

Cool! A game! I'm really good at games that use your imagination, like Pictionary.

I started looking around the room, thinking like MacGyver.

"Why do you have a plastic bag in the garbage can? That's a no brainer."

Dave went red. "You're right. We shouldn't have that. I'll take it away."

"And why are there two loose screws on the mesh covering this window? I could just find a dime, take them off, bend the mesh and drop out. You should really have used phillips head screws, at least."

Dave looked up, a bit sheepish. "Okay. We'll have that fixed right away."

I kept going. This was fun!

"That exposed outlet. Does it have Ground Fault Interrupt in the circuit? I bet it doesn't because this is an old building. I could find a paperclip and electrocute myself, no problem. Oh, and with that paperclip I can loosen the fastener on that cabinet so it will fall on me."

...and on and on.

Finally, I stopped. Dave looked extremely nervous, and I was feeling bad for him. "Is that it?" he asked, list in hand.

"For now, I guess," I said.

Dave left. I felt good. Just as if I had won a game of Pictionary.

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