Anyhow, I had been released from hospital and was at work when Darth Vader came back and started talking into my ear. I sat at my desk, trying to ignore him, but the Force was strong with him (damn you, Yoda, for not giving me better training! Lifting boxes with my mind? What the hell!) I told my boss that I wasn't feeling well, and left to walk to the bus.
It didn't take long for Darth to take me through the steps towards suicide. I recognized it early (it's part of what you learn in hospital), and took my new cell phone out to call the suicide prevention number I had been given.
"Suicide prevention, how can we help you today?"
(Now that I think about it, do they really need to ask that? Do they do something else, too, like deliver pizzas?)
"My name is D'Arcy. I think I'm going to kill myself."
"Um, this is actually a bad time for us. Are you feeling pretty bad, or just a little bit bad?"
"Pretty bad. I think I'm going to kill myself."
"Okay, I heard that. The thing is, we're all on lunch."
"Can I please talk to someone? To you? I really think I'm going to kill myself."
"Just hang in there. Call back in say, a half hour, and we'll be able to help you. Or go to your doctor, okay?"
My first thought was "Suicide prevention probably DID put Rodney Dangerfield on hold!"
I couldn't think of any other numbers to call. My brain was too overwhelmed to think of 911, and Darth Vader was laughing too loudly. As I walked toward a bus stop and certain death, I called my sister-in-law - the first contact saved on my cell.
I am so grateful to so many people for the many kindnesses they have shown me. My poor sister-in-law was first shocked when I told her what was happening, but then calmly talked to me for the next half hour until I got to safety.
Sometimes the best suicide prevention comes from someone who loves you. Thanks, Rhonda, for saving my life. :)
If you live in Canada, here is a suicide prevention number that ALWAYS works: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) Call it even if you don't feel suicidal but are depressed - catch it early!
If you live in British Columbia, there is the 24 hour Mental Health Distress Line: 310-6789 (no area code) Again, call it even if you only feel depressed - that's why it's called a "distress line."
If you live in Vancouver, here are two important numbers:
- The Vancouver Crisis Centre: 604-874-7307
- VPD Car 87 (A police car with specially trained officers and a psychiatric nurse): 604-874-7307