Saturday, September 8, 2012

How I Made it Through Yesterday

Normally, I would remain severely depressed for between five to ten days, and would not have posted anything to this blog.

Today I woke up, and I feel surprisingly good. My Moodscope score (see for information on Moodscope, or my earlier post) shows me in the low normal range. I am shocked. This is a first.

I am also cautious - my scores tend to spike one day, and dip the next. So tomorrow may be different. But this is new for me to have one day so very low, and the next so very high.

So...what has changed?

I have been on new medication for a month. That may be helping.

My Moodscope buddies (a couple of friends who monitor my scores) went out of their way yesterday to ensure that I did healthy things to break the downward spiral.

Members of my family called to check in with me.

I really focused on my kids (a friend is over right now for a sleepover - I had to listen to a lot of One Direction, which should have made me more depressed, but didn't. Stop laughing, Sasha!).

A neighbour brought over food.

Another neighbour brought fresh-picked fruit.

And I was overwhelmed by messages and posts of support through Facebook e-mail. It was almost a full-time job answering them.

I did not start this blog to get support - in fact, I wasn't sure that anyone would read it. It is an outlet for me to share stories that I have not had an opportunity to tell. Just writing them down is therapy for me.

I have rarely asked for help (a symptom of my social anxiety disorder) and certainly don't want sympathy. I find it very difficult to let people know what I need.

So...what have I learned?

In spite of my anxiety, I will talk to some friends and family when I start feeling depressed - it seems to help break the downward cycle.

I will let my Moodscope buddies cajole me into doing healthy things.

I will ask for help when I need it.

I won't hesitate to order pizza instead of making dinner.

I will do at least one nice thing just for me, to remind myself that I deserve nice things. (Yesterday it was a vanilla frappe from Starbucks. Yummy.).

Thanks, everyone. You're the best! I don't know what tomorrow may bring, but I am feeling pretty good today and, and am so grateful to know that so many people care. You all made a big difference in my life yesterday.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Lovely to hear!

I'm doing my morning internet rounds, and am so pleased to read that today is better than yesterday for you.

So far today is better than yesterday for me too. Yesterday was a constant-feeding day. Today, the little man has given me a whole hour detached already.